The new optimistic India

Jana Gana Mana Adhinayaka Jaya He Bharata Bhagya Vidhata….(“Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people, Dispenser of India's destiny”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jana_Gana_Mana#Musical_Composition_and_English_Translation )……

 The song is sung by numerous leading singers, each year we get to see numerous choreographed versions and each time I weep whenever I sing it with full heart. Wait…. Did you think I cry because I feel for the miserable conditions which are eating India every day? Nope… I am a happy citizen of India  and I know a growing country will have lots of minor ailments. Just a couple of days back I got to see a new advertisement of  TATA tea……. the brand which started a brilliant ad…. Drink tea and “jago re”…. get up against all odds. This time the ad makers came back with a slogan through a woman and she said  “desh ubal raha hai”……the country is  “boiling”, just the way the hot water produces millions of bubbles before becoming a nerve soothing tea. I am the optimistic woman as that advertisement portrays that very woman. But then why do tears roll out when I give my full heart to this song? A strange psychology pushes me to cry. I remember the happy childhood, my parents’ warm care, my twin’s energetic companionship, my schools, my friends, my college days, each independence day where I sung with million others. Added with this, I also remember that special conference in Delhi where I met my would be husband, who sang this song with his own teammates in their own linguistic tone. Yes, I , like many other children of India was blessed by  the ever growing powers  of our constitution to get a good home, good education and above all a secured childhood. I feel happy to use my right to speech and expression the way I want to. When I read about the constitutional rights of women in many countries, I really feel at least I am above them. I know probably my legal researcher brain won’t accept that our constitution does not guarantee full happiness to women and men and also children, there are lots of laws with major flaws, but I feel happy to be a part of the crew who are sailing despite many storms.

But somehow, I can not reconnect with some of my fellow country mates who  are now blindly taking up the path showed by Mahatma Gandhi. Not very long ago we saw a huge uproar nation wide with the veteran social activist Anna Hazare  to bring an end to corruption. He followed typical Gandhian Ahimsa way to persuade the government to draft a law which will force the end of corruption. A huge applause to him. The government did take up the issue and procedures are being followed to create a flawless law. But did Anna really set an example for good? He retested the Gandhian way, and probably showed some a quick way to success. Anna's favorite answer for any politically motivating question is people see through their chosen color glasses. Probably he is right. Not very long ago I witnessed an adamant youth's very disturbing activity regarding an unrealistic demand. It was quite the Gandhian way which is being tested by Anna now. But it was disturbing and it badly affected many of our day to day lives. True, the country is boiling. But the nerve soothing stuff needs to be added in the right  procedure and at the right occasion. Huge criticism,the vibe of dis satisfaction and portraying a picture of future India always in blackish grey shades may encourage youth to waste energy in an unwanted manner.

Optimism is the way. Jago, ubalte raho ..but for the right reason and in the right manner.

Would gender equality and financial independence for women remain a dream for Indians?

I have been a supporter of gender equality since long. To gather informations on gender equality, I had gone through loads of papers and write ups on first, second and third wave feminisms. At first, I thought that our grandmas who ruled the households were the brave examples of feminism; my illusion got a crack  when I got to hear so many grand ma’s painful stories. Then it was the turn of the 2^nd generation women, i.e our mothers. They are the new brigade of educated working women who were probably greatly influenced by Indira Gandhi and Queen Elizabeth II. They established WO MEN  among the MEN and made common individuals to believe that there would be women around them even in the work places too. Nonetheless, this strong influence gave birth to a revolutionary ideology of prohibition of sexual harassment of women in the work place and it materialized in a path making judgment of Vishakha vs State of Rajasthan (AIR 1997 SUPREME COURT 301). It showed light to many other ‘for women’ judgments, including for marriage and family law issues.  Women in India are empowered now, even though the awareness still makes a mockery of these judgments.     

But do some women really support gender equality?

Probably no. Couple of months ago I came across an ‘agony aunty –page’ in a famous women’s magazine. My eyes got stuck to a painstaking story of a man.  He comes from a brilliant family with two sisters, both of whom are successful professionals. He himself is a successful young man and aims to achieve many things that a normal young man dreams of. But he is barred. His family demands that he has to pay for being a brother.  He is not allowed to buy anything he wishes because he needs to save the money for his sisters, he cant visit places as he wishes, because that will be extravaganza unless the sisters are married. Ohh…wait.. didn’t he also say that he needs to remain a ‘big brother’ even when the girls get married ! The man cries…then what for they (girls) are earning? Why were they sent to the same schools as he was by his parents ?

Well, this is but common phenomena now in average Indian families. The young men suffer from identity crisis mostly due to their mothers and sisters who prefer to remain under the big umbrella called ‘male chauvinism’. But don’t mistake……… this can be a camouflaged umbrella too which is probably made by the women folk themselves. For I have seen many educated employed women DEMANDING from their brothers, the parents  of these women being the prime supports for such confused state of affairs. Did you note that I am using the word “demanding”? it is because I want to differentiate it from the dowry related pressure from the in-laws. True, very sadly the later form of demand still eclipse the former form of demand. But coming  back to my point, I feel some women (who are obviously meager in number  than the real sufferers in the hands of social problems like dowry) really defy     the positive side of gender equality for women. Eventually they may turn into torturous sisters-in law for their brothers’ wives, greedy mothers- in- law for their sons’ wives and may create wrong examples for their daughters too, thereby making the cycle bigger.

I remember Kaun Banega Krorepati host Amitabh Bachchan’s polite yet sincere warning to every contestant who looks forward to answer the 11^th question that will fetch Rs 50 lakhs….. “Play safe and don’t be greedy… you may loose every thing you won”. Such women may really loose the status of women of modern thoughts. I strongly feel that every educated woman plays a role of ambassador of ‘gender equality for women’. Unless women are promising to themselves that they will be happy with their own independent standards of living, thoughts and ideologies, they may not set an example to those really suffering women…….. not to forget the famous proverb…... women are the best friends of women … they are the best enemies of women too.

Indians: Faustians of the modern era?

A satire on Indian attitude towards life by my husband  Dr. K. Jaishankar:

 

"Once I met my father's friend and he proudly said that his son is a software engineer and he stays abroad. I said, what is there to be proud, as an academic, I also visit abroad frequently with full funding from agencies which invite me. He said that you may visit frequently but my son stays there and works there!!! (Later, I also worked in UK for a small period with a fellowship, lead a quality life of a britisher and came back empty handed!). Staying abroad and earning money is bigger than prestigious fellowships and invitations abroad with funding!! I remembered one joke by two Tamil comedians. One will say that he is 10th standard fail and the other will say that he is 8th standard pass. The 8th standard pass will say that he is bigger than the other as he has passed but the other has failed. So which is Superior? Pass in 8th standard or fail in 10th standard?

In another incident, two years back, one of my neighbour asked me how much bank balance you have, I told NIL. He told that you are in university service for more than 6 years and with your salary you have to have a bank balance of 1 million Rupees. As you have no money in your bank, YOU ARE A FAILURE!! I told that I lead a quality life, I achieved certain things and I invested money in learning new things and progress, which went in to his deaf ears (Now the same person is happy to note that I am building a house with bank loan!! Ironically, In his eyes, now, I am a successful person).

21st Century Indians are conscious of two things: Power and Money. The first one they show it and the other they hold it. The second one if they get free or by corrupt means then they show it fully to the extent that will make others sigh!! The Indian middle class yard stick of success in these days is a bank balance and job in a foreign country to enhance the bank balance. They have lost the idea of living. How many persons who earn a lot, have to time to enjoy the money they have? How many persons, who have power, enjoy their material aspects they possess? Big bungalows in India built by people who stay abroad and earn money are enjoyed by their servants! All relatives of people in power enjoy whereas those people in power do not have time even to eat!

What are we running for: For money to be kept in bank forever!! A job that takes our youth, our energy, our time and we mortgage our life for material comforts which we will never enjoy for want of time! A job that our men become impotent, sterile and our women become sterile and stop reproducing! A job that gives more diseases in young age and takes the money we are saving, to elite hospitals! A job that produces more divorces than ever! A job that gives us prestige, power, but kills us at 30's and makes us a vegetable for the rest of our life. A job that kills us, but makes us to live, without actually living!!! 

I remember a story: Once a rich man got a gold bar equivalent to the size of a brick. He buried that in his garden and daily digged it and checked its presence and enjoyed its presence every day!! Once a neighbour saw it and took away the gold brick and put an actual brick in the night! The next day the rich man found that his gold brick is not there and went aghast! The neighbour came and enquired and said I don’t see a difference between the Gold brick and the real brick, as neither is useful to you!!

We have mortgaged our soul and have become faustians of modern era!! "

Are you planning for strict dieting? Please don’t…

I know there are many women like me who need to reduce weight; who love the dreams where they come back with latest regular size dresses; who love to try new fashion statements but cries inside knowing the hard fact that the dress will not fit them. I am one of those who gained weight due to compulsive eating habit. I know if I have to live, I need to STOP EATING. But is it possible? nah………… in December last year I had the lesson of my life and I stopped the bad habit of dieting .

It was a breezy December late afternoon in the NLSIU campus in Bangalore. I just finished   a presentation on the out lines of my ph.d thesis in front of  the board which had the country’s best motivating law faculties. I felt relaxed. After a week’s stay in the hostel in the  lovely campus and grueling work on last minute touch ups, the encouraging remarks made me feel very happy. I felt mentally relaxed, physically lighter …..well, I had taken up a strict dieting regime during those seven days……the morning breakfast was a masala dosai, the mid afternoon snacks were an apple and two light biscuits, the late evening food was an apple again and the day finished with a pair of bread with no butter ,jam or cheese slice inside.

I decided to spend the rest of the lovely day in the library. I proceeded from the main building towards the other part of the campus which was conjoined by a very romantic little bridge running over a dry drain. The shady trees including couple of bamboo plants gave the place a dreamy look . Long ago I met my husband in this same place and my mind and brain never fail to remember those happy moments. Was I dreaming too much? I felt some one was forcefully pushing me towards the ground; I saw bright yellow flowers all around and suddenly I felt one of those shady trees hit my forehead. A couple of seconds later I realized I am half lying on the ground covered with dry leaves…….I had gone through those dreadful results of “strict dieting”. I managed to grab my water bottle and finish the whole one liter of  “liquid life” within two minutes. When I stood up again I decided that I had enough of it….no more enmity with regular three course meal. I slowly walked to the snacks café near the library and ordered for a “treat” of  puffed rice, chopped onion, tomato, carrot and ‘bhujiya’…….was my body revolting because I managed to say no to this delightful food for past seven days ? Probably yes.

When i came home, the first thing I did was to chart out an exercise schedule. It took two months for me to settle down with the physical exercise regime, but that paid ……I can work more faster, think more positively and feel more healthy. I made exercising a  part of my life.

And never do I say no to food again.